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Archive for August, 2013

So the US is preparing to attack Syria because the Syrian government, which is supported by the Russians, used chemical weapons on the rebels, except that as it turns out it was the Syrian rebels who used chemical weapons, but accidentally not on the government, because they didn’t know how they worked when they were provided to them by the Saudis, who are one of the US’ few allies in this, just like France, who are determined to be on the non-surrendering side of a conflict for once, but are therefore opposed by Britain, which supported the US in Afghanistan and Iraq and therefore pissed off the Iranians, who are really more looking for an excuse to attack Israel than anything else, and in the meantime North Korea is wondering why suddenly nobody’s paying any attention to it any more, not having realised that in the classroom of world politics North Korea is the kid in the corner who has found something unexpectedly wonderful in his own nose.

So if anyone was still unclear on the giant Rube Goldberg machine which is foreign relations, it should all make sense to you now and you can decide who to support in the firm and comfortable knowledge that you’re right. You’re welcome.

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So, for those who care… Premier League predictions?

Top three: I’m expecting a strong showing on both sides of Manchester, and Chelsea giving them a run for their money.

Just below: North London and Merseyside probably occupying fourth through seventh; anyone’s guess which takes fourth, but if Spurs do hold onto Gareth Bale I think I’d favour them for it. Hopefully.

Down at the unfashionable¬†end, I expect Hull’s stay in the top flight to be a short one. Crystal Palace will probably also do the yo-yo.

Cardiff (the Bluebirds in red) will probably punch above their weight for part of the season and might just survive; West Brom and Villa will probably provide them with hope as the relegation dogfight begins in earnest mid-February.

Over to you, readers: where am I going completely wrong?

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So the GOP are trying to tie the Clintons to the Anthony Wiener scandal in an effort to damage Hillary’s presumed presidential campaign. She could put a stop to this with one good sound bite.

“I’ve already got one uncontrollable wiener in my life, I don’t need another one.”

Ten seconds, and it would get more free airplay than anything the Republicans have tried so far.

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