Considering the increasingly obvious phenomenon that the officials we elect to represent us are largely unable or unwilling to do so, I would like to propose the following legislation. In keeping with the cockamamie names often bestowed upon Acts of Congress, I hereby present the Compulsory Limits on Earnings, Assets and Numerous Ulteriors Pending Year End Reporting Act, otherwise known as the CLEANUPYER Act.
Be it resolved that:
a. Upon election to office, an officeholder’s assets shall be placed in a savings account and will lose or gain funds at the end of the officeholder’s term according to the following principles:
- For each percentage point gain in the median household income during the officeholder’s term, there will be a corresponding percentage point increase in the saved funds; and
- For each percentage point drop in unemployment, there will be a corresponding percentage point increase in the saved funds; and
- For each percentage point increase in the high school graduation rate, there will be a corresponding percentage point increase in the saved funds; and
- The reverse case of all of the above will lead to a corresponding decrease in the saved funds, and;
- For each ‘earmark’ requested by an officeholder, there will be a percentage point decrease in the saved funds, and;
- Should Congress declare war and the President execute same, there will be a percentage point decrease in the saved funds for every 3 months of the war’s duration; and
- Should any legislature adopt this Act, the officeholders voting ‘aye’ will receive a twenty-five point increase in the saved funds in addition to the above provisions.
b. Elected officials shall receive a stipend not to exceed twice the median income of their constituents.
c. Elected officials shall for a period of one year after leaving office be ineligible to take positions with either lobbying firms or industries which have directly benefited from legislation enacted during their term of office.
d. On election day, prospective officeholders will report to a neutral area to await results, refusing contact from lobbyists or other parties which may seek to influence forthcoming legislation.
e. In addition to the existing reporting of campaign contributions, any unaffiliated entity will also disclose the sources of its funding.
It is my fervent hope that there will one day be a government which would pass this Act. Perhaps then I would even begin to trust my government.