An open letter to the 2012 GOP candidates

Dear Sirs,

Now that the only one of you with any decency has departed the race, I feel compelled to make the following assertions to you:

• I will support keeping government out of our boardrooms the day you support keeping it out of our bedrooms.
• I will believe in corporate personhood the day you make corporations subject to all the restrictions and penalties imposed by law as well as the benefits conferred by it – up to and including the death penalty. Speaking of which…
•  I will believe that you are pro-life the day you vote to repeal not only Roe v. Wade, but also the death penalty and the Second Amendment. I will believe you are pro-life when you stop trying to gut the EPA and start trying to gut Halliburton Corp. I will believe you are pro-life when you stop saying “Kill America’s enemies” like a brainwashed jihadi.
• I will believe you are pro-family the day you do something which benefits all America’s families rather than merely the ones you personally find acceptable.
• I will believe that you are protecting the institution of marriage when a committed couple of 30 years can finally get married for love but Kim Kardashian can’t do it to get a headline.
• I will believe that you support the free market when you stop rigging it in favor of your campaign donors.
• I will believe that you want to rein in government spending when the Department Of Defense has to publicly disclose all of its accounting.
• I will believe that you are in favor of individuals’ freedom when you begin to not only respect but insist upon the separation of church and state.
• I will believe that your party is worthy of governing when it is no longer (by its own admission!) prioritizing defeating the opposition over bettering the lives of Americans.
• Last but by no means least, I will consider voting for you when you stop telling me what’s bad about the other guy and start telling me what’s good about you – assuming there’s anything to tell.

President Obama is far from perfect, but as things currently stand, he is still head and shoulders above all of you.

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Thinning the 2012 field

So, as all the world now knows, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has become the latest politician publicly revealed as being unable to keep it in his pants.

It’s no secret, especially in these troubled times, that people in positions of power have stressful jobs and sometimes need to get away from their day-to-day lives. However, this doesn’t necessarily extend so far as to simply disappear without a word to your family or your staff as to where the hell you might be. That’s irresponsible at best, and criminally negligent at worst.

The fact that he was in Argentina having an affair, though sensationalized by the media, is very much secondary to the dereliction of duty we saw there.

Also, Governor? Don’t blab about family values and the Ten Commandments while you’re screwing around. That kind of hypocrisy will come back to bite you in the ass.

Which brings me to 2012.

Sanford was considered to be a contender for the Republican nomination. I think he can probably kiss that prospect goodbye.

We’ve already seen John Ensign fall victim to the same issue, Bobby Jindal firmly stick his foot in his mouth on (among other things) volcano monitoring, Newt Gingrich get blasted for calling Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor a racist, Rick Perry suggest that his state secede from the Union….

Things don’t looks so good for the GOP in 2012. Romney and Barbour are certainly prospects, but for how long?

Did they all get together at the party convention last year, shake a Magic 8-ball and say “OK, in April *point* YOU get to screw it up, and *shake* here’s how. In May, it’s *point* YOUR turn, and you’ll do it *shake* like this…”

Next, we’ll find incriminating pictures of Sarah Palin with HER hot Argentinian mistress.

Actually, I’d pay good money to see that.

NOTE: I know that there has been no shortage of Democrats with blanketeering issues (Clinton, Edwards, Spitzer etc.) – but they’re not the ones in the news right now.

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