Posts Tagged ‘seuss’

100% Saturday?

Giving this its own post rather than letting it languish in a Facebook comment thread, a Seussish response to ‘is tomorrow 100% Saturday?’:

It’s hard to be totally sure of the day,
When time zones are stretching out every which way.
When you fly westward, whose hours do you borrow?
And when you fly east, do you get there tomorrow?

Sometimes it’s safer to go south or north
If you do need to gallivant backwards and forth
But everyone’s place has its own kind of time
(Which makes this an awfully challenging rhyme.)

It’s nine in the morning in Honolulu,
But ten hours later around Timbuktu,
At least that’s what I think – it might be eleven,
Or possibly eight and three quarters point seven.

But wherever you are and whoever you be
In Ottawa, Canberra or Tripoli,
It only can ever be one day at once
Midnight can’t change in these temporal stunts.

In another three hours and one little bit,
Friday gets up so Saturday can sit,
In Eastern Time, anyway, others may vary,
But Saturday’s Saturday, never contrary.

That hundred percentness is perfectly right
For one entire day and two parts of a night….

(But if you have lingered to read all these ravings,
Don’t get me started about Daylight Savings!)

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Earlier this week I got involved in Facebook discourse regarding suitable materiel for the George W. Bush Presidential Library. Upon reading the assertion that Dr. Seuss might be a little highbrow, I found myself in disagreement. Seuss would be fine as long as there were ready adaptations more pertinent to the political realities faced by the outgoing administration.

In evidence, I offered the following:

I do not like him, Rahm-I-Am,
I do not like that Kenyan man.
I do not like his Yes We Can,
I do not like him on Iran, 

I do not, will not, change or hope.
I will not read him “My Pet Goat”
I do not like his big blue map
I also think his VP’s crap.

I think he’s wrong on education
And his misunderestimation
Of my entire eight-year span,
I do not like him, Rahm-I-Am!

I do not like his stimulus,
He’s weak on defense, what a wuss!
He won’t sign a gay marriage ban.
I do not like that Kenyan man.

They say his middle name’s Hussein –
I’d rather go with John McCain
Or maybe Sarah, she’s a cutie
I really like her… sense of duty.

I’ll always back the GOP
No matter what they do to me
I am a staunch Republican,
I do not like him, Rahm-I-Am!

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